literary_equine (literary_equine) wrote,

It's Artistic Repression!

My wife asked me to assist my middle son in writing a short biography for his upcoming high school graduation, a task that I took to with gusto as I have pretensions of being a professional author.

So, with keyboard in hand, I put my prodigious mind to work and came up with what I think was an awesome bio and the family nixed it! I think it's a work of pure awesome:

Christopher A. Loewen of Gettysburg, Pennsylvania is an Eagle Scout, an accomplished tuba player, and an active member in Youth For Christ. His hobbies are body building, piano playing, reading, cats, MineCraft, preparation for the zombie apocalypse, defending Nickelback, and crushing his enemies, see them driven before him, hearing the lamentation of their women, and salting his food with the tears of their orphans. He begins Computer Studies at Houghton College in the Fall.

They cut out the third sentence about Chris' hobbies with the lame excuse the bio had to be restricted to 50 words. Personally? I think it's artistic repression.

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