You know how I interview lots of people on this blog? Well, here is the first and last interview I ever had with me as the subject and is also the reason I don't so interviews.
Let's just say it didn't go well:
Full Name?
Craig Alan Loewen
State of Residence?
Pennsylvania
Occupation?
Three actually: clergyman, parlor magician, author
Children?
Three sons.
Have you ever kissed a chicken?
What?
Have you ever kissed a chicken?
What kind of question is that?!?!
Look, here's the deal. I ask the questions and you answer them.
You're nuts! These are supposed to be questions about my favorite colors and what music CD's I own and my likes and dislikes. Nobody else has to answer questions about chickens!
Okay, okay. Be a twit. What's you're favorite color?
That's better. U'mm, deep blue.
You ever kissed a deep blue chicken?
That's it. I'm out of here.
No, no, no! Come back! I'm sorry. I promise you I won't ask any more questions about kissing chickens.
Really?
Yes, really.
Promise?
Scout's honor..
Well...okay.
Ever kissed a pig?
WHAT!?!? Well...I...umm...
YOU'VE KISSED A PIG!?!?
Well, it was a church camp dare in front of over 100 kids. I was the director that summer. How could I say no?
Whoa. I really have a different picture of you now.
JUST ASK THE BLASTED QUESTIONS!
Okay. Any romantic liasons with poultry?
Okay, I'm outa here.